Why and How to Cut Ties With Bad Friends

It’s 2019, the start of a new year which always symbolizes the beginning of a purge in all aspects of your life. Whatever this purge may be (less junk food, less social media, less drunken nights), it is never easy (nobody said it would be), and we have all been there. Though, one purge I feel that I have both been putting off doing because of how difficult it is (and I am sure I am not alone here), is cutting all ties with toxic friends.

This is by far, the hardest change a lot of people have to make because it involves you having to literally banish another person from your life – and not just any other person, but someone whom you considered a confidant, a peer, heck – even your second half.

I am here today to show you how to pinpoint who these friends are, why you should cut ties with them, and how to do it. My goal in this is for you to analyze who your friends are, and facilitate a long-overdue, permanent goodbye.

Who Are These Toxic Friends?

Identifying who the people you need to cut from your life is possibly the second hardest step to this whole process, reason being, more often than not the people that you should be cutting out from your life are the people you feel you need around the most. They have been there for several years or maybe they are the kind of person you feel like you should be friends with.

BUT, if you notice that these individuals:

  • Make you feel like your an outsider in group environments
  • Bring up feelings of jealousy or discontentment when together
  • Ghost you (completely stop talking to you) for long periods of time, then reappear when they either want/need something or just even say that they have been “too busy”
  • All they do is complain
  • Do not bother speaking to you in the language that you commonly speak when in a group with others that speak the language of your “friend”
  • Make you want to lie in order to make yourself feel better or spare their feelings on an issue
  • Make you enjoy events less – or you have less fun when they are around
  • Only call you when they need something, or they are always in need of something every time they speak with you
  • Have a hard time accepting that you are better at something than they are
  • Say things to intentionally hurt you, but then laugh it off and tell you that you are “too sensitive” or that “this is how they joke”
  • Make fun of others and speak about others behind their backs to you (odds are they do the same about you)
  • Demand to have a certain amount of influence in your life on the basis of “being your friend”
  • Backstabbed you

You need to cut these people out of your life ASAP. If there was someone that you had in mind when reading this, then this absolutely is a person that is not enriching your life but rather bleeding it dry. Anyone that I did not mention, or that makes you feel negative in some way is definitely someone that you do not want to have around. More often than not, you can feel who makes you feel good about yourself and who does not. As for the ones who do not, it may be difficult to come to terms with you no longer wanting to be around them, but you owe it to yourself and your happiness to rid your social circle of people who make you feel negative or odd. If you have read this list, but still have a gut feeling that someone in your life may not fit these criteria but still makes you feel bad, CUT THEM OUT. Truth is, if you feel this way about a person, it’s for a reason and it’s better to listen t this warning your gut is telling you versus ignoring it.

Why These “Friends” Need To Go

People that make you feel less than optimal will drag you down one way or another. While you may or may not believe in the law of attraction, the people that you surround yourself with will impact your vibrations and bring experiences that come along with this. This being said, if someone is making you feel bad about yourself or is always acting in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, sooner or later, these people will shape the experiences that you have with them. These experiences will mimic their vibrations of negativity and ultimately affect yours.

How To Face and Cut Out Toxic Friends

This will never be easy, but it is necessary if you want to move on and achieve a life of higher vibrations and positive experiences.

How to SYSTEMATICALLY cut an individual from your life – this is how you would cut a friend off by “drifting apart”. This is probably the least direct and most likable of these methods. This requires you to literally communicate less with this person, reject their invitations, and practically fall off their grid. In a sense, it is kind of like ghosting, except you systematically leave traces of disinterest little by little. Why this works: Not only is this a bit of a direct way to show someone you are losing interest in them, it is also a way to get sweet revenge over someone that has either ghosted you before or ignores you every time you guys go out. This method also helps you slowly gain a little more confidence with every single step you take to get furthest away from this individual. It can start out by simply rejecting to get coffee and then build up to a direct “I do not want to be around you anymore”.

How to DIRECTLY cut an individual from your life – this is where you would approach your friend, sit down, and have a conversation about why you guys should not be friends anymore. Here, there are no confusions about your feelings towards them, they will get the message directly. Though I should mention, this method works best for individuals who can handle confrontation straight up. If you are the kind of person that either speaks indirectly or spares someone’s feelings when having conversations, then I highly recommend that you avoid this method altogether. Why this works: You will achieve desired results immediately – which is kind of like a double-edged sword. You will have gotten your point across with just one attempt – but that’s the thing – you only have one attempt to do this. If you cannot handle people being visibly upset or you know that you cannot communicate well – or if your friend is known to be highly manipulative – it might be best to go with the first option of drifting apart.

Remember To Keep In Mind…

That getting rid of people that make you feel negative emotions is really for the best in the long run. If there are people in your life that are disrespecting you, not appreciating you, or just straight up not treating you well, even though it sounds crazy, ridding yourself of these people will be the best thing that can happen in regards to those individuals.

With all of this in mind, I hope these tips help you confront and handle someone in your life that is better off not being a part of it.

I am sending you all lots of love, and until next time!

 

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Christmas in Paris 2018

A long, but much needed post about Paris and its wonders during the most wonderful time of year.

Hey there you!

It has been a while since I last posted on here – this time for a good reason – for the past two weeks, I had been on a little escapade with my sister in Europe to spend the holidays together, and it was by far the best thing I could have ever done.

Although Christmas and New Years are holidays one should spend with their ENTIRE family, the image of going back home to our parents who celebrate each and every holiday by doing absolutely NOTHING made us cringe. We knew we had to figure something out in order for us to have a perfect holiday season – and well, Europe is always a good idea.

This trip was also a long time coming – when we were younger, my family and I would spend almost every Christmas in Paris, and since this is my last Christmas as a student, We felt that going back to spend a Christmas by ourselves was the way to go.

Fast forwarding to the day of the trip: I had woken up to be mortified as I was greeted by a text message that informed me that my ride to the airport had just fallen through because my friend had WAAY too much to drink last night. Unfortunately, I inherited my mother’s neuroticism when it comes to traveling, meaning that even if everything is going okay, in my mind everything is a massive catastrophe. I had to act fast and ended up paying for a pretty expensive taxi ride to the airport – though I managed to get there in time and made my flight.

20181222_112735 After twelve long hours and several punches from a passenger who kept having nightmares, I had finally landed in London. One of the grimmest realities of purchasing tickets near the holiday season is how expensive they are – it will cost you a pretty loonie to fly to a destination directly, so I opted to find cheaper plane tickets at the cost of my time and psychological endurance. I used Skyscanner to book my tickets, and even though tickets on there are quite cheap, they also come with a massive amount of layovers – I have seen some tickets with as much as a three-day layover! In the past, this would not have bothered me, but now as a 23-year-old, I would be lying if I said that I felt as energized as I did when I was 21 and went backpacking all of Europe.

20181223_135328 Though on a more comical note, I discovered that London Heathrow has a Gordon Ramsey Restaurant referred to as “Plane Food”. Though I did not eat here because at this point of my trip, all I wanted to do was sleep, I can only hope to go back and see what if Chef Ramsey is as good as they say he is.

After a few hours more, I flew directly to Charles de Gaulle and was reunited with my sister ❤

We immediately checked into our hotel and began walking all over the streets in search of food. As we were walking, we saw some of the most amazing sites – so much more beautiful than I remember.

Seeing the Eiffel Tower light up at night was absolutely amazing. It really proved to me that no matter how well you may think you know a place, it can never fail at surprising you.

We later passed out, but not before setting our alarms for 7 a.m.

The next day came about, and it was December 24th, technically the day before Christmas depending on when you celebrate it. We spent most of this day site-seeing and stocking up on groceries because, come the next day, and we know we will not be able to eat literally anywhere. We went around and saw the Eiffel Tower in the daytime.

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There’s yours truly at the end! The view was magnificent and it was surprisingly not too cold! Also, I did not realize this the last time I was on the tower, but they actually serve you Champagne while you are taking in all the views – since I did not see this during the summer, I believe that this is only something that pertains to the winter season (just a heads up!). We continued to walk around the Champs Elysees and visited more iconic sites like the Arc de Triumph.

20181224_11281620181224_114310 Though, I must admit, what really took my breath away, and is absolutely worth the visit if you ever have the chance to go during Christmas, is Galleries LaFayette. Every year during the holidays they decorate the entire mall in a spectacular way – truly unlike anything I have ever seen.

20181224_13461720181224_13514220181224_13514820181224_135254 I think these pictures speak for themselves…

December 25: Christmas Day

The day got started on the wrong foot due to a foolish argument that was started by our parents (will go more in depth in a different post). We were not going to let this get us down – I mean it was Christmas after all! So we quickly gathered ourselves and made our way to the only other sites that we have not yet visited in Paris: Notre Dame and the Montmartre Hearts Basilica.

We were lucky enough to sit in for the Christmas mass service – which even though we are not Catholic, was such a humbling and awesome (lack of a better word) experience. The reason being that Notre Dame was built in 1063 – which is such a long time ago, yet throughout history, battles, and disasters, this Cathedral has remained an important staple for people of faith. Also, Christmas mass has been a tradition they have had since the beginning of this cathedral. Though, I think the icing on the cake was seeing the Saint Joan of Arc statue in Notre Dame – this statue is the only female Saint in all of Notre Dame. Women like her and Catalina de Erauso always inspired me as a kid.

For the rest of the day, we were surrounded by incredible views of the city. Even though most of the city was closed, Halal and Baklava shops were our saving grace. We treated ourselves to some of the most authentic-tasting Baklava outside of the middle east – they were delicious!

As for now, I am back home battling jet lag, daydreaming about how much I wish I was there again. Writing this post certainly helped suffice this craving.

That’s all for now. Tell me, did you travel back home for the holidays? Or go somewhere new? Please comment down below!

Sending you all lots of love! I will see you next time!

Stag-Approved Tips that Work for Reducing Anxiety

Just a few ways to reduce some of that holiday stress that you should not avoid.

Hey there you!

With exams taking up so much of our energy for these past few weeks, there is no doubt that your mental psyche has taken a hit. Or maybe it is not exams. Maybe you have been busy with all the holiday festivities and are constantly looking down a list of tasks that still need to be done. Though, deep down, you know that this list is practically a death sentence because it is humanly impossible to do every little thing on there. Or maybe you are just going through the motions of life – my boo boo, I feel you.

In fact, it is not uncommon to feel stressed out around the holidays. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, holidays – particularly holiday get together and parties – are typical and powerful stressors for a lot of people (Read more about that here). This had me thinking about how I used to cope with all of this pressure in the past – specifically, the days of frequent panic attacks, unstoppable tears, and overall uneasiness. As I thought about these rough patches, I started connecting the dots as to what my fears were and how I handled them. Surely enough, I came back with a few tips and tricks to reducing holiday/exam anxiety – and I am overjoyed that I can share them with you all.

Exercise

Even though it is the holidays, and its kind of cold outside – depending on where you are from of course, and working out seems almost impossible… but it does not have to be all bad. I really have found that I tend to stress less and manage stressful situations more. 

Whether it be walking up and down the stairs or 30 minutes, or doing some Blogilates at home, or actually going to the gym – exercise is something you should definitely prioritize and add to your self-care routine. It can only benefit you. 

Self-Care

Self-care – specifically treating yourself like you matter is often something that is over-looked this time of year. As a result, your mental psyche starts to wither away and before you know it – BAAM! A wave of anxiety crashes into you and its not like you can tell your parents, children, or friends that you can’t go to their ugly Christmas Sweater party because you are too anxious. So instead, try to act preventatively – you would be surprised with what a little attention to yourself could do. 

My best tip for this is to do something that makes you feel cozy. My favorite thing to do is to put on fluffy socks, grab a glass of spiced almond milk, and read a book that really makes me think. The current book that I revert to when I do this is Los Cuatro Acuerdos – or The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Though, any book that can make you think about life in a different perspective tends to really work, since it forces me to get out of whatever situation I am having and instead focus on the present. It is honestly so rare to have moments like these when you are out living your daily life. If this really isn’t for you, you can always listen to podcasts, watch motivational videos, take a bath, moisturize, watch a show, or even take a nap. Just pamper yourself a little – because you really deserve it! 

Feel Free to Skip Out If It Gets to Be Too Much

We’ve all been there. A social gathering where everyone is talking, having a good time, crashing into you, and you do not feel even the slightest bit welcome or comfortable which makes you want to curl up in the corner and try to avoid speaking to anyone… until someone notices then mentions it to everyone and then suddenly everyone wonders if you are okay, and others start asking you why you aren’t more social and then everything from there on out is super embarrassing. Literally happens to me more than I would like to admit – and I am sure I am not alone here. 

There are several ways you can go about this. My most recent method has been to just not go. If your host asks you why you aren’t going or begs you to come, just simply state that you do not feel comfortable enough to go. In the event that this get-together is at your house with your close family, then I would try the band-aid method. 

The Band-Aid Method

This is by far one of the hardest things probably anyone will have to do in their lives ever, and this is: learning to embrace your fears (also known as ripping off a band-aid). This was really difficult for me to start doing but once I started to face my fears, I ended up feeling a lot better about myself.

An example of this was going out with a group of people that at one point, I considered my good friends. They had invited me to a restaurant, in which there were not a lot of options for me to eat as a vegan, then go out to a bar. Long story short, we went out and got a little drunk, not blacked out drunk but drunk enough for you to start talking louder and feel kind of dazed. It was a little worse for me since I did not really get to eat much because of that poor restaurant choice. At the end of the night, two of the people I was with acted horribly inappropriate to me and one even grabbed my ass. This really disgusted me – and rightfully so – no one should ever have to put up with that kind of behavior.

Some time passed after that and my birthday had come and gone. Though I could not celebrate it because I had an exam the day after, I was still able to celebrate right after. I was at work and my coworkers wanted to have some team member camaraderie and they ended up remembering that my birthday had passed by. We all wanted to go out to eat, and at first I thought it would be a death sentence since I have a restrictive diet, but these lovely people actually went out of their way to find a place where we could all eat and be at peace – they spent about 7 minutes doing so – which was a hell of a lot more than my supposed friends did. It was an amazing night filled with so much fun and laughter, I actually realized how much fun it was to actually be out and around other people. 

Fast-forwarding a few weeks later, the same friend that had invited me to that wreck of a get together invited me to go to see a movie with everyone – including those two horrible individuals to watch a new movie that came out. My friend kept repeating her usual mantra when it came to her convincing me to go out with her: I swear it will be different, I will always be at your side, I swear this farther, more luxurious location will make all the difference (literally an hour drive to a theater with food I cannot eat), etc. After comparing my coworkers with my “friends”, the choice was easy. I politely declined to go out with them, and even though they questioned why, groaned about it, and honestly IDK what else they did, my mind was made up – and I managed to stand up for myself. 

These people do not talk to me anymore – which I have learned to embrace as fine. Though, had I not chosen to avoid their other get-togethers, I would still be stuck in the same situation as usual. 

Though this may not apply to everyone exactly, standing up for yourself and overcoming your fears are synonymous with each other. So whether it be your totally cool friend that keeps begging you to be a better party guest, or a crude family member that picks on your weight, or horrible cousins that remind you of an awful past – learn to set your limits to what you can take. Sometimes direct aversion is actually your most powerful tool – and always stand by yourself no matter what. Rip that band-aid off, and I guarantee, you’ll feel better. 

Though this last one takes a hell of a lot of guts and practice – everyone starts somewhere – And its time for you to be free of whatever holds you back. Learn to love yourself, as well as the process of taking care of yourself. Your anxiety will never be able to crush you once you do. Maybe just one moment of band-aid ripping, exercise, self-care, or RSVp-ing “NO” will make all the difference for you this holiday season. 

I hope you found this helpful, and until next time, I am sending you all lots of positivity and love ❤

Thank you for reading! 

 

 

Countdown ‘Til 23

How reflection and self-discovery can lead to a whole new perception on life.

It’s official! In Less than a week, I will be 23 – still in my younger years, but one year closer to 30.

Although it sounds horrible, I have never been a particular fan of birthdays. This mainly stems from my childhood growing up in a strict Muslim country. Ever since I could remember, I hated when my birthday would come around since it also signaled the start of Ramadan – the holiday in which everyone fasts… not the best time for potato wedges and birthday cake hehe. I would spend the day that I came into the world trying to please people of a religion that I was not a part of. I do not want to get much into this but this left me scarred as a child, and I vowed to always celebrate my birthday on my own – my terms, my way.

This is what I have done for all my other birthdays for the past 12 years.


Today, as my last class ended and I could not shake the feeling of being utterly defeated by my last exam, I had a realization – A life that is not being enjoyed, really isn’t a life at all. I felt a ping of guiltiness as I thought this because I do have several blessings in my life. My problem is not knowing what to do with these blessings going forward. After almost 23 years of life, it is quite sad that I still do not have a grip on this yet.

I also realized that there is no point in stressing out about this as well. So what if you do not have a grip on life? To be fairly honest, I haven’t been able to come up with a person who does! Not even Trudeau!

The whole point of focusing on mental health for me and this blog was to be able to show that your understanding of life and your understanding of yourself are the most important factors to obtaining peace of mind. More importantly, these are the only two variables that we do have any control over.

So with this new enlightenment, I am determined to make my last week as a 22-year-old be the calmest, most spiritually awakening week. This will be easier said than done since I have two exams and one project due the day after my birthday – but again, I trust the process and everything will turn out great! I certainly feel it.

Hope your spiritual journey is going well! I want to give a shoutout to all my Scorpios: Happy Birthday to Us! It’s our time to shine 🙂

I am sending those who read this lots of love and I wish you guys the very best this week!

lighted happy birthday candles
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purple fireworks effect
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Feel Like You Already Have It | Weekly Lessons

One easy trick to manifesting your desires sooner!

Hallo!

It has been a hot minute since I have uploaded something on here (feels like I always start my blog posts this way). School has started back up and it is finally dawning on me that this is my last year as an undergraduate student (woohoo!).

These past two weeks, I have been reminded by God and the Universe that life really is a precious gift. It is filled with loving memories, laughs, funny stories, and a lot of adventure. I have met so many great people that I had once dreamed of meeting. This brings me to today’s post on how the Law of Attraction really does listen to literally every little thing: In the beginning of the summer, I was devastatingly heartbroken – this is quite a long story that I do not want to get into. However, I was noticing that every time I went out with my supposed friends, I would come home drunk, bruised up, and feeling completely empty. A lot of this was the result of my vibrations and what I let into my life. Even though it took me a while to see, the only one that could change my situation was myself.

So I decided to manifest a perfect night out: One where I would be surrounded with people I liked, where there were no fights, at a wonderful bar that fostered an equally wonderful atmosphere and to have endless amounts of fun. I kept this idea in my head for months (from May to September exactly). I was not constantly thinking about it, but it was always there.

Last week, we ended up surprising my boss with a fun and casual night out. Everyone from work went, as well as, some friends that the party planner (my bosses wife) invited. Although I should have moderated the amount of alcohol I consumed because I am the world’s worst lightweight, I spent the night surrounded by positive and interesting people who chose kind words over hurtful, chose hugs over fights, and who chose positivity and rationality over impulsivity and negativity. It was overall a great experience that was even better than I had hoped for.

My biggest takeaway from this story is to always be alert about your vibrations and thoughts – because these two things ultimately determine what experiences your life is exposed to. Whether you need to constantly say positive affirmations or visualize several times a day, do the things that put you in a positive mind space. These will be the things that will lead you to your goals.

May you have a fantastic week and weekend. Sending you lots of love in your spiritual journey, and as always, thank you for reading.

Quick Lower Body Workout Plan – 2018/08/23

Quick lower body workout plan that you can do at home!

Contrary to what people may think, you do NOT need to go to the gym in order to get a good workout in. While having a gym membership is another tool to use or even a way to stay motivated, you can still get great results for virtually free. This plan is a workout people can do in their homes, at the park, or where ever you please. Make sure you warm-up for 15 minutes AT LEAST. As a disclaimer, I do not own any of these videos (obviously).

Activity 1 – Warm-up (15 minutes): Jogging, running, walking up/down stairs, or walk for 15 minutes.

Activity 2 – Inner thigh isolation

Activity 3 – Glute Activation

Activity 4 – Outer thigh and Quads

Activity 5 – SQUATS!

Activity 6 – Stretch and Cool Down

 

A special thank you to Blogilates’ Cassey Ho and Kathy Morgan for their amazing workout videos. Would not be in shape without you!

Everything You Could Ever Want, You Already Have | Weekly Lessons

How this simple principle can change your life!

This past week has fortunately been a week deep soul-searching and self-discovery. Although I should have thought of this sooner, I will fully dedicate myself to making at least one or two days out of the week purely for self-discovery.

From my understanding, the most important thing we could ever do for ourselves as humans is to invest in ourselves – yet for most of us, this is what we do the least. I am, too, guilty of this negligence – but life is good, and with a good life comes new opportunities to change and shape your reality.

Throughout this week, I was constantly surrounded by stories, music lyrics, advertisements….etc about how our thoughts shape our realities. This is actually a very personal and emotional concept to think about since all the experiences of my life have revolved around this principle. However, for the past week, I could not help but think of two very distinct moments in my life where my thoughts dictated my outcomes. I have always been a little restrictive when it comes to sharing stories within this part of my life because this was by far one of the most vulnerable moments that I have lived through. Then again, the opportunity to help others with their spiritual journey easily outweighs any hesitations that I hold. So without further adieu, here are two real-life examples of how positive and negative thoughts alter your experiences:

After graduating from high school, my relationship with my parents was tarnished. My parents always looked for reasons to pick on me, my future was at a standstill since I was having issues with my University admissions, and I was financially cut off from my family. Around this time, I began working in the childcare industry as a full-time nanny and babysitter to make some money and stay afloat. This was a job I quite disliked because of how mediocre it was (at least this was how I perceived it) and after getting admitted into University and attending my institute for two weeks, I kept thinking to myself “My life sucks, my job is horrible, I am so unhealthy, I have no friends, and I am failing at life”. Surely enough, after constantly thinking about all of these things, I began to see these results in my life. I started failing most of my classes even though I was constantly studying, I gained 35 pounds throughout these two years, I struggled to make friends and even had one of my closest friends pass away. My job was a constant pain and I noticed how my income began shrinking. At one point, I was crying in my car hysterically because of how my life had turned out. I remember thinking to myself, “How did this happen? and why did this happen?“. As I now know, I was the reason all of these things (except my friend suddenly passing) happened. After the semester ended, I watched the documentary The Secret and began to start actively applying the law of attraction to my daily life. I started with manifesting small things like songs and people stopping by. From there, I started making a plan to become a stellar student who: Speaks proficient German, gets straight A’s, and exercises regularly. I also began to plan travels and a new (better) job. I had to make some sacrifices during this process. I began to hang out with my old friends a lot less – though we still keep in contact, completely cut out unhealthy foods like meat and dairy from my diet, started training every day, and began looking up requirements for what it takes to be a data analyst. During this time, I emphasized nourishing my mind with information that would help me get to my goals and participated in whatever clubs or activities that would help me get to where I wanted to be. After a year and a half, I became this straight-A student. I speak German proficiently and even managed to get an A on my German Literature final. I ended up losing the 35 pounds that I gained and actually feel really good about myself and even landed my job as a data analyst for an amazing company.

Thoughts really do become things. Everything in this life is a product of our thoughts – isn’t that crazy?

The most fundamental lesson to remember is that we really do have an influence on our outcomes – but we can only have this influence if we believe that it is possible for us to achieve. The only reason I ever achieved what I set out to achieve was that I knew that it was possible for me to do so. This being said, it was not easy. Nothing that is worth doing is ever going to be easy – and that’s just the reality of it. Though, we can choose to love the process (this is an entirely different lesson).

It is no coincidence that this lesson came within this past week. I have been planning some new goals for myself and the universe has kindly reminded me that they are in fact already mine.

Believe that something is already yours – and it will be.

I hope this helped/inspired you. I would love to hear your stories about this! Please post them in the comments below. As always, thank you for reading and I love you all dearly ❤

person sky silhouette night
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