It’s 2019, the start of a new year which always symbolizes the beginning of a purge in all aspects of your life. Whatever this purge may be (less junk food, less social media, less drunken nights), it is never easy (nobody said it would be), and we have all been there. Though, one purge I feel that I have both been putting off doing because of how difficult it is (and I am sure I am not alone here), is cutting all ties with toxic friends.
This is by far, the hardest change a lot of people have to make because it involves you having to literally banish another person from your life – and not just any other person, but someone whom you considered a confidant, a peer, heck – even your second half.
I am here today to show you how to pinpoint who these friends are, why you should cut ties with them, and how to do it. My goal in this is for you to analyze who your friends are, and facilitate a long-overdue, permanent goodbye.
Who Are These Toxic Friends?
Identifying who the people you need to cut from your life is possibly the second hardest step to this whole process, reason being, more often than not the people that you should be cutting out from your life are the people you feel you need around the most. They have been there for several years or maybe they are the kind of person you feel like you should be friends with.
BUT, if you notice that these individuals:
- Make you feel like your an outsider in group environments
- Bring up feelings of jealousy or discontentment when together
- Ghost you (completely stop talking to you) for long periods of time, then reappear when they either want/need something or just even say that they have been “too busy”
- All they do is complain
- Do not bother speaking to you in the language that you commonly speak when in a group with others that speak the language of your “friend”
- Make you want to lie in order to make yourself feel better or spare their feelings on an issue
- Make you enjoy events less – or you have less fun when they are around
- Only call you when they need something, or they are always in need of something every time they speak with you
- Have a hard time accepting that you are better at something than they are
- Say things to intentionally hurt you, but then laugh it off and tell you that you are “too sensitive” or that “this is how they joke”
- Make fun of others and speak about others behind their backs to you (odds are they do the same about you)
- Demand to have a certain amount of influence in your life on the basis of “being your friend”
- Backstabbed you
You need to cut these people out of your life ASAP. If there was someone that you had in mind when reading this, then this absolutely is a person that is not enriching your life but rather bleeding it dry. Anyone that I did not mention, or that makes you feel negative in some way is definitely someone that you do not want to have around. More often than not, you can feel who makes you feel good about yourself and who does not. As for the ones who do not, it may be difficult to come to terms with you no longer wanting to be around them, but you owe it to yourself and your happiness to rid your social circle of people who make you feel negative or odd. If you have read this list, but still have a gut feeling that someone in your life may not fit these criteria but still makes you feel bad, CUT THEM OUT. Truth is, if you feel this way about a person, it’s for a reason and it’s better to listen t this warning your gut is telling you versus ignoring it.
Why These “Friends” Need To Go
People that make you feel less than optimal will drag you down one way or another. While you may or may not believe in the law of attraction, the people that you surround yourself with will impact your vibrations and bring experiences that come along with this. This being said, if someone is making you feel bad about yourself or is always acting in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, sooner or later, these people will shape the experiences that you have with them. These experiences will mimic their vibrations of negativity and ultimately affect yours.
How To Face and Cut Out Toxic Friends
This will never be easy, but it is necessary if you want to move on and achieve a life of higher vibrations and positive experiences.
How to SYSTEMATICALLY cut an individual from your life – this is how you would cut a friend off by “drifting apart”. This is probably the least direct and most likable of these methods. This requires you to literally communicate less with this person, reject their invitations, and practically fall off their grid. In a sense, it is kind of like ghosting, except you systematically leave traces of disinterest little by little. Why this works: Not only is this a bit of a direct way to show someone you are losing interest in them, it is also a way to get sweet revenge over someone that has either ghosted you before or ignores you every time you guys go out. This method also helps you slowly gain a little more confidence with every single step you take to get furthest away from this individual. It can start out by simply rejecting to get coffee and then build up to a direct “I do not want to be around you anymore”.
How to DIRECTLY cut an individual from your life – this is where you would approach your friend, sit down, and have a conversation about why you guys should not be friends anymore. Here, there are no confusions about your feelings towards them, they will get the message directly. Though I should mention, this method works best for individuals who can handle confrontation straight up. If you are the kind of person that either speaks indirectly or spares someone’s feelings when having conversations, then I highly recommend that you avoid this method altogether. Why this works: You will achieve desired results immediately – which is kind of like a double-edged sword. You will have gotten your point across with just one attempt – but that’s the thing – you only have one attempt to do this. If you cannot handle people being visibly upset or you know that you cannot communicate well – or if your friend is known to be highly manipulative – it might be best to go with the first option of drifting apart.
Remember To Keep In Mind…
That getting rid of people that make you feel negative emotions is really for the best in the long run. If there are people in your life that are disrespecting you, not appreciating you, or just straight up not treating you well, even though it sounds crazy, ridding yourself of these people will be the best thing that can happen in regards to those individuals.
With all of this in mind, I hope these tips help you confront and handle someone in your life that is better off not being a part of it.
I am sending you all lots of love, and until next time!